Desparation

Well what can I  say about my life at this very moment in time. I have given up really but know one who sees,works or talks to me can really tell. I good at hiding how I feel. I smile and laugh when needed but deep down I feel nothing.

Last week I even tried to end it but cowardly as I am stopped at 8. All I felt was sick and dizzy  and I slept quite well too that night. I woke up with the acknowledgement of having to go on if only for the sake of my mum and daughter.They would be the only people who I would hurt if I did anything silly.

I recently agreed to a divorce from my Husband of twenty years it both excites and terrifies me, mainly terrify,I mean can I really go it alone, I guess my answer is ” Yes, you have no choice.”  I will have my daughter but still it is going to be hard to adjust to life as a single parent.

People who read this will just think to their selves  what a silly bitch writing this. But I needed to talk to someone even if it is just on this site. How to end this entrance I am posting I not sure, I know there is a small hope for happiness in the future so I guess in my good times I’ll hold on to that thought and maybe just maybe this will help me feel less alone in this world.